Asking for help isn’t just asking for help because you need it. Asking for help is saying, I value you and trust you enough to be a part of my life. I also value your thoughts, opinions and/or contributions. We usually are not asking strangers for help unless we have no options. We are not asking people we don’t like for a favor, either. Asking for help is something you do with friends. It allows someone else to feel useful and needed.
I feel that fellas don’t grasp this concept. I didn’t either. I dreaded having to ask for help, but I was in a wheelchair and I had no choice. After that experience I learned the value of asking for help. Then I forgot for many years, but the last few years, I have been asking for help and it been great relationship building.
The guys that I am attracted to are uber confident, independent and can manage anything. I believe that is the natural pattern to be the hunter and provider, but some of us have a strong need to contribute and be useful and have a positive impact too. I have barely run into guys who can ask for help for something important. I have had experience where guys will accept help upon me insisting. What it boils down to real partnership – I want one, not two independents who share a house, but two people learn and share thoughts and skills and work as a team.
This is a new addition to the list as of this year.